AARGH

I'm not bad at my job, I just do it in ways that usually only make sense via internal monologue.

Without going into too many specifics, I coordinate the visual layout of a certain retail store, and tomorrow I get to deploy yet another fancy new toy for people to drool over. Now one would think that this would not be a difficult thing, but the company I work for is extremely picky about appearances and as such there are certain high standards to which I must adhere to.

I usually do, but in one particular area I tend to take their standards and chuck them out the nearest window. See, my store is laid out in a unique way in respect to the rest of the company, so as such the measurements they give us for how they want things almost NEVER work in my store.

For the past few years I've taken the approach to this problem as I've been taught via experience as a theater crew coordinator, as a geology student, and as a watcher of the original Star Trek series (good ol Scotty, makin shit up as he goes along...); I eyeball it.

If I set something down, step back five paces, and say "It looks good," then damnit, it looks good. I hate tape measures.

I'm a big follower of environmental measurements, which means I measure things with what I have on hand and not always with what tools I have available. For example, I know that on average 10 paces = 21 feet for me, my outstretched arms from are 65 inches from palm to palm, and it's just about 2 inches when measured across the tips of my index, middle and ring fingers.

This whole bit where "Space each device approximately 17" from each other" don't work for me.

So that brings me to my current dilemma. Ordinarily I'd just do my measurements and get the job done nice and quick, but for the past few months I've been relegated to a sort of 'manager' role, where I oversee people doing the work I used to do, and am not really allowed to do the work myself. Something about developing new job skills... gah.

Now I don't mind having minions, I'm just as lazy as anyone else. It's that now I have to translate the measurements I do in my head to measurements people can use. Annoyance ensures!

But today! Today I had a plan! I'd work out the measurements ahead of time and just write them down for my minions, that way I'd not have to do the measurements tomorrow and then spend time translating. Perfect way to burn the last few hours of my shift.

So I got their measurements (wrong, as usual), and measured out what I had to work with. Then i took it over to a computer and graphed it out, converting the 1/1 measurements into a scale that was workable on screen. I went and measured out the devices I was setting up and all sorts of other little tiny measurements that I normally just guess at and put them all down into the formula.

Bout halfway through this I was ready to throw the computer out the window.

Little known fact : I failed every math course I've taken since 7th grade.

I dearly wanted to just ignore these silly measurements and take a random fixture and use that as my measuring template, but I was so far along in the calculating that I might as well have finished it.

Eventually I derived the solution. A nice and even number that even the most mathmatically challenged could understand! Yes, I too understood it.

11 inches. 

That number sounded far too familiar.

I quickly snatched up the acrylic fixture that I normally use for my spacing when setting up such devices. Back then I figured that if I used something that was precision made for us, it'd be pretty good as a measuring tool.

It is precisely 11 inches.

So, if I had just skipped the whole math thing and used what I normally would have just guessed to use as a decent measurement, it would have been the same result.

I despise math.

what is liminality pt2

Sometimes later comes much later than intended.

So, my fixation on the concept of Liminality started almost nine years ago... It's hard to beleive it's been that long, both in the idea that it's been a great amount of time, and at the same time not a lot of time at all.

It really does come down to how you perceive it. Nine years is almost a decade, but nine years is also not even a third of my lifetime.

You'll find that I often look at things from multiple angles. 

Anyway, at the time a new anime franchise was starting up called .hack (say : "Dot Hack"). Brief synopsis - in the near future the world is more-or-less addicted to a virtual reality online game that is NOT WoW, and a group of people begin to unravel the mystery and secret of the world they virtually live in.

As a side note, if The World ever became a real game, I would drop FFXI in a heartbeat.

But anyway, the franchise was being executed in an interesting way. There was an actual full 26 episode tv series known as .hack//sign which began the story of a group of people who essentially open the door to the discovery of the secret of The World. Following this was a series of four PS2 games: .hack//infection, .hack//mutation, .hack//mutation, and .hack//quarantine. These four games tell the story of the results of the events that happened in The World due to the events of //sign.

Included with each volume of the games is one episode of an OAV series collectively known as .hack//liminality. These four episodes tell the story of what's happening in the real world at the same time as the games are happening.

Interesting stuff, I know. For the most part I ignored the OAV, as I had four games to beat. They ended up being very interesting indeed after I finally got around to watching them.

The word 'liminality' stuck out to me. Prior to then, I had never heard of it before. Interesting sounding word. But that's all I thought of it at the time.

Later on, listening to my various .hack soundtracks (me being a completionist collector), came across a song titled "Liminality." It's a really pretty song and I might share it someday. But it was while listening to the song that I finally got curious enough to look into Liminality's meaning.

I've already posted the dictionary definition for it. But knowing that I could finally understand what it means in relation to .hack's story. In that story both the online world and the real world are two distinct and separate realities whose borders should never cross. Yet the players in the online world are people who live in the real world. They constantly pass that threshold between the two existences, sometimes becoming completely different people from one world to the next. 

The idea of Liminality is very strong here, as people are always on the edge of one world or another, one existence or another. 

So for me, this idea that you can be one thing in one world, but something completely different in another world even though you are still the same you.... it bears more thought.

And I've been thinking about it for nine years now.

Another transition, of sorts

I have a few hobbies. One of them is Final Fantasy XI.

In this world, one can take on several different 'jobs' and the job I most identify with is the multi-tasking Red Mage. The non-focused nature of the job appeals greatly to that state that lingers in the back of my mind since it is capable of becoming many different things at the drop of a feathered hat.

As of late, I've been slightly disillusioned with the job as the game environment has shifted towards tightly controlled efficiency instead of reactive adaptation. It just so happens that a Red Mage is the master of efficiency for various reasons, but to make a longish rant short the job is so efficient that it can be pared down to barely a handful of tasks. 

Do those tasks repeatedly for hours on end and even the most flexible mind will shatter.

So upon the advice and encouragement of my partner in adventuring, I'm trying my hand at another job, the Paladin. It's about half of my Red Mage's level and I haven't touched it in months.

All my Paladin gear was stowed in various lockers around the world, my macro commands were in complete disarray, I didn't even know where to hang out to make my Paladin services available to forming adventuring parties.

Two hours of waiting, I finally get invited. We make our way out to our fighting ground and with a deep breath I draw the attention of the first enemy.

It's amazing how well monster blood seems to remove the rust from plate armor. It's also amazing how much Red Mage style play translates into other jobs. I've worked with some paladins who I thought were pretty good, but I definitely don't remember them holding control of the fight as well as I did. For two hours straight until the group disbanded I held monsters without letting one wander to an overzealous mage. Not bad for someone who hasn't touched the job since sometime last summer.

Of course, I can't pat myself on the back for everything. We had a Thief who helped by using me as a shield for his antics. And I couldn't do anything about the other Red-Mage-in-Training who couldn't take care of crowd control or MP management.

How many times did I try to hit my own Red Mage macros when the situation started getting dire.... I have years of Red Mage experience over what this kid had, so it was difficult to not shout at him to sleep links or go easy on the cures or for gawds sake land Paralyze.

In the end by most standards it was a failed party, as I only barely got one Paladin level out of the group due to the six times I fell due to lack of control from the Red Mage. But then again it's sort of the Paladin's job to stay behind and get sacrificed so that the rest of the team can escape to safety when things go wrong.

I got to teach that kid the merits of running away too, after he got himself killed twice trying to deal with the adds.

Even though I didn't get the levels I was hoping for, realizing that I can pick up Paladin again as if I never left it was probably the biggest gain I had. I'm probably even better at it than I was before since I've had more time to learn efficiency as a Red Mage. I'll take small victories where I can.

What is liminality?

According to the dictionary : 

liminal

adjective technical

1 of or relating to a transitional or initial stage of a process.

2 occupying a position at, or on both sides of, a boundary or threshold.

As such, the state of Liminality is to be on the border of two or more states. On or Off. Light and Dark. Here or There. Yes and No.

Liminal (the root word) and Liminality (the state of being liminal) don't seem to be words that are in common usage, but it's highly likely everyone has heard a word that is derived from liminal. Sublime for example.

But what is it about the idea of liminality that fascinates me? Where did I get hooked on the concept?

I'll tell you later.

On "Management"

Managers can manage as much as they want, as long as they don't get in my way. I've got a job to do and it's gonna get done.

Sometimes I get asked why I'm not a manager myself. There's an overused quote that sums up my feelings about that : "If you want something done, do it yourself"

Extremely simple concept, difficult execution.

Seems everyone's gotta have their say on things and granted they're entitled to that. Just don't expect me to be listening, I'll be too busy working.

Time spent explaining to people what to do could be better spent on me actually doing it.

I remember now.

And by that I mean I zoned out at the screen in that state of being somewhere between asleep, awake, daydreaming, and brain-dead.

I think we call that state "California"

Mine wit! Ish broke!

So, I has a twitter feed, it's over there, on the side. Or at least it would be if I bothered to put it up there. I probably won't, since most people who ever stumble here on the threshold probably discovered it by following the birdy anyway.

Not too long ago, maybe an hour or so at most, I realized I was about to spam people's twitter pages with a massive rant about my week thus far.

SO TEMPTING. Hell I might still do it just for kicks.

But that would be mean and much to my surprise, I think I've burnt up my meanness supply for the day. Thus here comes the rant and in one chunk instead of in tiny 140-character long bits.

No, wait. I want a drink first.

A (late) new year's resolution.

This particular blog was supposed to be opened up two days ago, but various acts of Murphy prevented it.

I really hate that guy. Him and his Law. Seriously wtf? Why couldn't he make a law about  people not being allowed to be stupid or something?

Well, getting into a fight with the Law and losing aside, I was reminded that I still had to start this blog. 

*starts blog*

. . .

Now what?